Author: Mark Manson
Published: September 13, 2016
Publisher: Harper One
Pages: 210
Buy the Book: Amazon | Barnes & Noble | Book Depository
Rating: 5 Stars
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be "positive" all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. "F**k positivity," Mark Manson says. "Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it." In his wildly popular Internet blog, Mason doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—"not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault." Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
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This is a book that every millennial NEEDS to read; not just millennials, every one really. I was initially attracted to this book in Barnes & Noble on my day off because of it's bright orange color and use of the word f*ck. Hey, I'm just being honest here. I have been reading a lot of self-help/personal development books lately and they all have an occurring theme: always be positive, and life will go your way. I think of myself as a very positive person, which is why I've been having such a hard time. Sometimes I'm just not feeling all rainbows & butterflies, and that is okay. That is normal. We all know that being positive all of the time just isn't POSSIBLE. Although, it never hurts to strive to be positive when you can be.
Don't Try. Manson beautifully uses our emotions as center stage characters in this chapter. Simply speaking you can't be positive all of the time. It isn't humanly possible. We simply need to LET ourselves FEEL what we need to feel. he wrapped this up in the pretty package that is this quote.
The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And paradoxically, the acceptance of one's negative experiences is itself a positive experience.
Happiness Is a Problem. Happiness comes from solving problems. Manson goes on to explain that choosing not to solve problems either leads to denial or a victim mentality.
"Don't hope for a life without problems," the panda said. "There is no such thing. Instead hope for a life full of good problems."You Are Not Special. This chapter was a hard pill to swallow. We all like to think we are special and extraordinary, but they silver lining of this chapter was that it is okay to be average. Not everyone is extraordinary or we couldn't call it extraordinary.
You will have a growing appreciation for life's basic experience: the pleasures of simple friendship, creating something, helping a person in need, reading a good book, laughing with someone you care about. Sounds boring doesn't it? That's because these things are ordinary. But maybe they're ordinary for a reason: because they are what actually matter.
I wanted to delve into some of the points and themes of this book, but I won't expound on each of them because then, what would be the point for you to read it? In this book Manson does a great job of addressing current societal issues dealing with social media, superficiality, and death.
The last pages of this book really packed a punch. Maybe it was because I was expecting the normal fade out, feel goodness of typical endings. Themes of death being inevitable, how rejection makes your life better, healthy and unhealthy relationships defined, and actually living (as well as what that even means) are discussed toward the end.
We are defined by what we choose to reject. And if we reject nothing (perhaps in fear of being rejected by something ourselves), we essentially have no identity at all. The desire to avoid rejection at all costs, to avoid confrontation and conflict, the desire to attempt to accept everything equally and to make everything cohere and harmonize, is a deep subtle form of Entitlement. Entitled people, because they feel as though they deserve to feel great all the time, avoid rejecting anything because doing so might make them or someone else feel bad. And because they refuse to reject anything, they have a pleasure-driven, and self-absorbed life. All they give a fuck about it sustaining the high a little bit longer, to avoid the inevitable failures of their life, to pretend the suffering away.
When I picked up this book I wasn't prepared for how much it would actually change my perspective, and how I live my day to day life. While this isn't the holy grail of all to live by, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck has made me feel a little less wrong in the way that I'm going about living everyday life. I enjoyed this book a little too much. It's definitely one of those books that I will non-subtly bring up in conversations randomly while trying to convince said person they need to read it.
It was that kind of book.
xoxo,
Kayla Graham
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