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This business of dating is tricky. Not knowing what to do, or say, how to catch someone's attention, or how to read signs.
I've never been a pro at this thing. I think that the main key to it though is to JUST BE YOURSELF. I have in the past tried appearing to be something I'm not to impress someone, when in the end I discovered that you can't be something your not... so why try in the first place?
Trying to be something or someone else attracts the wrong people. And I for one don't want to attract someone who isn't interested in me for who I am. Goofy, shy and reserved at times, book lover, blogging fanatic, crazy about all shows involving the supernatural, nerdy, random.... ME.
Another thing is setting your standards to be high. I've never done this either. I grew up witnessing dysfunctional and unhealthy relationships, even with my parents. So I thought that what I witnessed was how relationships and interactions with someone you are interested in were supposed to be. When reality is they aren't supposed to be like that and what's even more, they don't have to be like that.
Simple things like respecting yourself and your body, choosing not to have sex with someone before you're exclusive, and presenting yourself in an honest manner are things that I think make things simpler.
But hey, remember these are the thoughts and opinions of a 20 year old girl who, just like you, wants to be happy. Just voicing them. Pure, genuine, simple, innocent, fun, unguarded, free... those qualities are what I'm searching for.
I don't think anyone can really be a pro at dating. It's always full of surprises and there's never really one way to do it. There are, however, ways to go about it, like you suggested. Being someone you're not, whether or not you're doing it for dating or otherwise, is never a good decision. It's feels bad and don't we all want to be happy?
ReplyDeleteYou're totally dead on right Alice. I learned the hard way that it wasn't a good decision but am glad I've finally realized that's not the way to go. We do all want to be happy! Love having you here! :)
DeleteI think those are the thoughts of a very mature 20 year old girl.
ReplyDeleteFWIW, I grew up in a dysfunctional family with passive aggressive communication, when there was any, and divorce. So yeah, I had no idea what relationships meant at your age. None at all. It was hard enough to find a date that wasn't intimidated by me because I wanted to backpack Europe, or because I had.
I also had someone tell me that I set my standards too high because I wanted a husband who was in it long term, respected me, and shared my morals and standards. I also wanted him motivated to be healthy, and to successful in life. At first, I wondered if they were right. Then I metaphorically flipped them off.
I married the best guy (sorry I took him from the dating pool, you can't have him ;) who wasn't scared of me, who is very motivated, and is hot as hell. When we did start dating, it was never awkward. I never felt like I had to pretend to be someone different, and I was always comfortable with him.
So even if you're bad at dating, I think that when it comes down to a guy that is accepting and respectful, being 'bad' or 'good' at dating won't even matter.
Hope that makes sense. Just know I'm sending encouraging, loving vibes your way. I've been there! It gets better.
Katie thank you so much for you comment, your comments are always so wise and make my day! I guess you're right, when it's meant to happen everything will just flow smoothly! I've always found it hard to date, and yes I have that same problem where people seemed intimidated by me... although I don't think of myself as an intimidating person lol.
DeleteAnyways thank you for stopping by!
Best xoxo
Just because it will come one day, doesn't mean that it isn't hard while you're waiting for that one day! In the meantime, find something to make yourself happy everyday, and live up the awesome single life!
DeleteYou're already amazing, KG. I just don't think you know it yet ;)
It is hard waiting in the mean time but I've good good friends, video games, movies, tv shows, books, and blogging to keep me happy, content, and occupied until and even after that day comes lol. Katie, you are too sweet really... thank you so much. :)
Deletestick to your guns :) I'm glad you have this outlook in life. You'll find someone, there's no rush. Whoever that someone is would be worth waiting for :)
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Awe Arianne! Thank you, I'm sticking to my guns as we speak lol!
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